Leap Of Faith
by mirthe1996
Summary: It all started 2 years ago, my first experience with love, the most wanted yet feared thing in this world. I can tell you it's wonderful, for as long as it lasts. My name is Elena Gilbert and this is my story about my way to recovery, finding hope when you thought all was lost and taking chances.


This is my new story! Hope you like it! Just so you know, Stefan and Damon are vampires though Elena doesn't know it yet...  
Well, here we go, let me know what you think afterwards!

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_It all started 2 years ago, my first experience with love, the most wanted yet feared thing in this world. I can tell you it's wonderful, for as long as it lasts. Because just like all good things, it comes to an end. And no matter how hard you try to make it last, there will always be a time when it ends. Whether it's death, moving-away, meeting someone new or the most heartbreaking one, the break-up, it will end sooner or later. But when you're in love, your blinded and that's what makes it so special, that's why you can fully commit yourself to someone.  
You'll never see the end coming, and you live a happy life with the person you truly want to be with. But being attached to someone is also the most scary feeling in the world, once your attached you know things will never go back to the way they were.  
That special person, who once meant the world to you, will always have a piece of your heart that's going to stay with them forever. And trust me, if I had known in advance that being in love would make such a big impact on my live, I would have thought it all through again._

_But in the end, love is what makes us human, what makes life worth living.  
__Being in love is the most wonderful feeling in the world, but it can also break your heart in ways you never thought were possible. My name is Elena Gilbert, and this is my story about my way to recovery, finding hope when you thought all of it was gone and most of all, the story about my experiences with love and how big of an impact that has made on a casual small town girl like me._

I was on my way home from a night in the city with Bonnie and Stefan. We had a great night, danced all night and of course had a few drinks. Bonnie, who was a little alcohol intolerant, was definitely a bit drunk. But that was fine because Stefan was bringing us home safely. I couldn't help but notice that he was acting a bit strange tonight, he was distant and didn't want to dance with me.  
But despite the strange feeling that something bad was going to happen, I had a great night.

We dropped Bonnie off at home and after that we went to my house. He always brought me home after a night out, which I thought was adorable. Sometimes we spent hours kissing on the porch, but tonight it was different.  
He looked nervous and didn't say much. I took the initiative and locked my arms around his waist, tiptoed and tried to kiss him. But he turned his head, I laughed because he often did that as a joke.  
I looked in his eyes and saw a emotion I couldn't place, it was one I had never seen before. I tried to kiss him again, but he turned his head again.  
That was when I knew it was definitely wrong. I've had this feeling all week, but I tried to push it away. Now I was absolutely positive that my feeling had been right.

I stared into his eyes again and somehow I knew what was coming. It broke my heart before he even said it, a feeling of emptiness and sadness washed over me, I couldn't think straight anymore.  
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" I asked while the first tears where forming in the corner of my eye.  
He looked me in the eye and took a deep breath.  
"I'm so sorry Elena, but the feeling I've had for you these past 10 months aren't there anymore. I still like you a lot, but I'm not in love with you anymore. I realized it just this week, we haven't seen each other in two weeks and I realized that I wasn't really missing you. You were so excited about seeing me again, but I realized I didn't feel the same"  
That's when I broke down, the tears were streaming down my face now at full speed. I started crying out loud, he wrapped his arms around me and I cried on his shoulder. I didn't know what to say, there were no words to explain how I felt.  
There were so many thing I wanted to say, that I wanted to know, but I couldn't say I could do was wrap my arms tight around him and let the tears come. He was so sweet, that I was great and so beautiful but that he found it unfair to take advantage of me when he wasn't in love with me anymore. His words were supposed to make me feel better, of course the opposite happened and it only made me cry harder.  
We stood like that for at least an hour, that's when he said he really had to go home. I nodded my head, gave him one last hug and our lips touched for the last time.  
I looked him in the eyes and said:  
"Just know that I still love you, so if you change your mind, know that I'm right here waiting for you".  
He nodded, not knowing how to respond.

I but on my brave face, opened the door, and I gave him one last sad smile then I closed the door.  
Closing the door felt like a chapter of my life ending, it suddenly had so much more meaning to me.  
That was when I fully realized what just happened, the one thing I was so afraid of happening did just happen. The tears were still streaming down my face as I struggled my way to my bed.

I lay down and let the feeling overwhelm me, I never felt like this in my entire life. It was like my world had collapsed in just one second, my source of true happiness had been taken away. Memories of the past year came rushing into my head, I couldn't stop it. I thought about everything we did together, all the great times, the inside jokes, the sweet moments, the time we went on holiday together. I knew I was torturing myself, but had no grip on it.  
I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep, knowing that tomorrow would be even worse.

I woke up with a start, not that dream again. It has been at least a month ago. I was feeling a lot better, but when I finally thought I was completely over him that dream came along and I was right back at the bottom. That was when my misery started, and when I lost my fate in love. Or actually that's when I became afraid of love. I still saw him at school every day and we just ignored each other, which hurt because he said explicitly that he wanted to stay friends. I knew that people said that with every breakup and that it would rarely happen.  
Even with all the despair I felt, I was happy that I was finally feeling a lot more like the old me again. I made a fresh start this year and decided to put the past behind me.


End file.
